that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
