it was like eating out sand paper
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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