it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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