I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
