im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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