so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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