Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
