I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
