I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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