Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
