my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
