I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't think brook has ever known best
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
