ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
love makes seman taste better
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
