woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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