OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize