If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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