I hope mine doesn't look like that
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
