dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
