The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize