this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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