he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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