i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
