I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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