a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
