franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
