Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
