evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
