I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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