Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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