Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
