I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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