Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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