I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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