tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
