Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize