i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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