just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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