If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you win again, gameday.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
