Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
