The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Boobs speak an international language.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
