Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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