The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
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My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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