I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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