We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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