Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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