am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize