Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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