My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize