it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my being single is dangerous.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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