he was CRYING into my vagina
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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