shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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