the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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