Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
