I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
