In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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