every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
