I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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